Thursday, March 5, 2015

Past , Present and Future : Positive vibes.

Everyone has that moment in their life where you hit an all time low and then out of the blue you see or experience a moment that acts as a ray of hope, for the rest of your lives.
During the course of my life I often felt blue and down due to various challenges brought about by my life. There is no denying that grief, sorrow and stress are a part and parcel of life. Be it our past or present ,we’ve all gone through these. What life throws at us sometimes cannot be denied or repelled (When life gives you lemons, make lemonade..), so the best way is acceptance – taking what life gives, and deriving positive lessons thereof makes the whole difference.
But there happen to be a few moments in our lives that fill us with extreme happiness, hope, hope for a better future ! And in that moment you forget the painful past, you have a feeling you can get over the shitty present and embrace a bright future ! That moment of my life where I understood the fact that I simply cannot stop hardships from touching me, but in the end it was my attitude could either make me or break me.
When I was a kid I tried a little too hard to gain everybody’s attention , reason? Well born in a family where you are blessed with a bunch of siblings (Awesome ones!) ,one does end up getting a little less attention from parents , relatives and those whom you appreciate. I being the second eldest in my home was loved immensely but not as much as the eldest. Its hard to understand the pain hidden behind this. Like always being compared to the eldest (Not by my parents !) but by oh so in your face relatives and far far away family friends. Looks- compared, Scores- compared, hobby’s –compared, likes and dislikes- compared, dressing and habits-compared. Compared and deteriorated to such an extent that I would wonder why the hell haven’t they compared our eye color or shoe sizes! But if not for the continuous support from my parents and siblings I would have give up on my life long back. Slowly time ticked off . I very much loved my eldest sibling and held her as my role model. But the world gave it an another name. They told me again and again how I tried being like my sister and failed so badly. As time elapsed I slowly started long hope and sometimes simply couldn’t make up mind as to what I was actually doing.
The past full of nasty remarks and comments haunted me and it affected my present. My results started falling. My parents got worried. My siblings tried their best to cheer me up. But it was a stage where I knew I was doomed, reason ? I did not know. I felt like life was such a waste .
It was during this time that I had board exams and I thank god that I passed my exams but by scoring passing marks. Everybody where shocked. I did not give a shit. I shut myself in my own sorry world. No matter how many of them tried to talk me out of it , I did not know what came over me. I felt nothing ! A distinction ranking student to score passing marks was a BIG crime.
And finally that life changing optimism moment of my life showed up and I became what nobody could’ve ever imagined me to be. The moment swept away my depression. I was crawled on my couch haphazardly when I noticed a small lizard crawling by the fridge door, all alone and then trying to grab something and my dad came over and sat by me and he said if there was one thing in the world he did not want to change ever was that him to have a child like me in every birth of his. Watching the lizard finally get over the fridge and my dad’s words had such an effect on me , I know it sounds so stupid but at that moment his words along with action taking place in front of me coupled up and my heart was filled with enthusiasm and I wanted to catch up with everything I had missed doing in the past few months !
So yes my moment of optimism was something weird and funny but worked wonders for me. What is your lookup story ?

PS( I scored 98% in my college then and topped at first place in the whole of my college , so much optimism !)