Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Joy of new beginnings - Optimism overload

#StartANewLife is trending right on top on the Indian twitter trends and I got curious to as what was the reason behind this optimistic trending hash tag..

And I found out that launched their new add which is quite colorful , it talks about how one should start a new life and #LookUp at the brighter side f life. Something like how one should focus on new beginnings and embrace the joy of engaging in a new beginning? Hmm. Sweet isn't it?

How many times have you heard of a new beginning ? Often you hear people saying 'Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.' How true is it in your case?

It happened so that after the first few months of marriage I was the most happiest person on the earth, but that was short lived. I remember the words ' Congratulations , you are pregnant!' I felt I was the most luckiest person on Earth. It was immense joy and pleasure, a thrill was coursing through me and my happiness knew no bounds. Until the day arrived and my baby died within me. M first child, my lil was stillborn. The pain after having carried her and fed her for 9 months it killed me when i heard she was stillborn. If not for my husband I would have committed something terrible. it was the most tragic moment of my life.

For days I shut myself off. Nobody could reason with me. I gave up all hope. All those toys we had brought and the gifts that had poured while Godh bharayi ceremony lay there still whispering comforting words to me. I would cry for long hours until nothingness swept over me. I kept very little contact with the outer world. And one day my husband talked me into going out for a walk in a park. It was my first outing in four months. 4 months mourning over the loss of my precious daughter whom the creator had kept it by himself.

The walk was liberating. The fresh air along with the noises from kids playing the park was disturbing. I was used to loneliness and self pity and here every other face was smiling. That day my husband held my hand and pointed towards two plump cute looking kids swinging and whispered we could soon be parents to the sweetest children , but that would be possible if i gave myself and my life another chance. He went on to tell me how life had its ups and downs and how we had to get over the past in order to make the future. That was when I realized what I had been doing. It felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle, one that kept me from feeling whole and fulfilled. The sense that something is missing had to eliminated, and I was ready to break free. I realized that my deepest desire was to improve my life and fill that greater vision for myself.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. And that is what i decided upon ! I smiled back at my husband and thanked him for bringing me out. In that moment I felt I could put behind anything ! I understood the simple fact that there was a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. Simple three little words "from now on..' guided me forward to a positive new beginning!

I called my mother that night and had a heartfelt chat with her. It was the happiest conversation I had in a long long time and it was the start of a new beginning for me...