A memorable Meet up !

“I am so done ! I am 25 and pregnant , wow just wow ! “ I grumbled during my first pregnancy . I was pregnant for 8 months. I was happy that I was going to be a mom but the sudden change in everything had me all tied up.

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I was literally fat at the center and found it hard to manage even a total of 4 tasks on my own. Plus the pain would always come back.  All of my friends who had studied college with me and most of my childhood friends were unmarried, single and happy ! Well atleast that’s what I thought until I happened to meet them one rainy day.
My mom in law wouldn’t let me go out during my last months of pregnancy , that too added up on my frustrations. Imagine sitting at home watching tv ,eating and some more eating and not being able to go out to watch a movie or shop or even for a walk ! Whatever exercise had to be done within the house or in the garden. As this was my first child everything was alien and it was tough getting used to such situations and one fine day the volcano erupted and I broke rules wore a maxi dress along with my favorite flats and went shopping all by myself. Thanks to hubby he was kind enough to drop me (But he made me promise to reach home before my sweet mom in law would be back home from some function she had gone to).
As I walked past the bustling streets to the shopping mall I suddenly did not want to shop and instead of heading to the mall I caught a taxi and went straight to a place where me and my friends would enjoy during our college days. It was a resort but a smaller version and it took the taxi wala an hour to reach there.Surprisingly all of the tension from the past few months started leaving my shoulders and I felt way relaxed than I had felt in the past few years. There was a different kind of happiness in living the olden days again. The best part was when I reached there and fate had it as I was reunited with two of my bestest friends from college !

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What a day it was , a memorable one ! We had coffee and shakes and cupcakes . Rejoicing and talking about our lives. My friends were all over me and awwing when I told them about my loving husband and the new joy which would be soon joining us. They discussed how they had been tied up with their jobs and had never time for a man but were stunned by the way things I had managed. That’s when I knew I was so lucky to be what I was and to have such limitless joy in my life. Their enthusiasm in wanting to know how I managed everything , their awe at my family and how I multi tasked put my life into the limelight. That day I enjoyed and felt like a happy kid.And finally my friends told me how they wished we had been #together and in touch and we made promises to stay in touch from then and there ! One of my friends had bought a new car in her own salary and we celebrated and cheered and she even gave us tips on buying and choosing a car , and the best she dropped me home safe and happy, oh yes I was so happy that day , from that day I felt a change I had never felt before !It was a day I always #LookUp to when I feel down :) 

Joy of new beginnings - Optimism overload

#StartANewLife is trending right on top on the Indian twitter trends and I got curious to as what was the reason behind this optimistic trending hash tag..

And I found out that Housing.com launched their new add which is quite colorful , it talks about how one should start a new life and #LookUp at the brighter side f life. Something like how one should focus on new beginnings and embrace the joy of engaging in a new beginning? Hmm. Sweet isn't it?

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How many times have you heard of a new beginning ? Often you hear people saying 'Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.' How true is it in your case?

It happened so that after the first few months of marriage I was the most happiest person on the earth, but that was short lived. I remember the words ' Congratulations , you are pregnant!' I felt I was the most luckiest person on Earth. It was immense joy and pleasure, a thrill was coursing through me and my happiness knew no bounds. Until the day arrived and my baby died within me. M first child, my lil was stillborn. The pain after having carried her and fed her for 9 months it killed me when i heard she was stillborn. If not for my husband I would have committed something terrible. it was the most tragic moment of my life.

For days I shut myself off. Nobody could reason with me. I gave up all hope. All those toys we had brought and the gifts that had poured while Godh bharayi ceremony lay there still whispering comforting words to me. I would cry for long hours until nothingness swept over me. I kept very little contact with the outer world. And one day my husband talked me into going out for a walk in a park. It was my first outing in four months. 4 months mourning over the loss of my precious daughter whom the creator had kept it by himself.

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The walk was liberating. The fresh air along with the noises from kids playing the park was disturbing. I was used to loneliness and self pity and here every other face was smiling. That day my husband held my hand and pointed towards two plump cute looking kids swinging and whispered we could soon be parents to the sweetest children , but that would be possible if i gave myself and my life another chance. He went on to tell me how life had its ups and downs and how we had to get over the past in order to make the future. That was when I realized what I had been doing. It felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle, one that kept me from feeling whole and fulfilled. The sense that something is missing had to eliminated, and I was ready to break free. I realized that my deepest desire was to improve my life and fill that greater vision for myself.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. And that is what i decided upon ! I smiled back at my husband and thanked him for bringing me out. In that moment I felt I could put behind anything ! I understood the simple fact that there was a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. Simple three little words "from now on..' guided me forward to a positive new beginning!

I called my mother that night and had a heartfelt chat with her. It was the happiest conversation I had in a long long time and it was the start of a new beginning for me...

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Past , Present and Future : Positive vibes.

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Everyone has that moment in their life where you hit an all time low and then out of the blue you see or experience a moment that acts as a ray of hope, for the rest of your lives.
During the course of my life I often felt blue and down due to various challenges brought about by my life. There is no denying that grief, sorrow and stress are a part and parcel of life. Be it our past or present ,we’ve all gone through these. What life throws at us sometimes cannot be denied or repelled (When life gives you lemons, make lemonade..), so the best way is acceptance – taking what life gives, and deriving positive lessons thereof makes the whole difference.
But there happen to be a few moments in our lives that fill us with extreme happiness, hope, hope for a better future ! And in that moment you forget the painful past, you have a feeling you can get over the shitty present and embrace a bright future ! That moment of my life where I understood the fact that I simply cannot stop hardships from touching me, but in the end it was my attitude could either make me or break me.
When I was a kid I tried a little too hard to gain everybody’s attention , reason? Well born in a family where you are blessed with a bunch of siblings (Awesome ones!) ,one does end up getting a little less attention from parents , relatives and those whom you appreciate. I being the second eldest in my home was loved immensely but not as much as the eldest. Its hard to understand the pain hidden behind this. Like always being compared to the eldest (Not by my parents !) but by oh so in your face relatives and far far away family friends. Looks- compared, Scores- compared, hobby’s –compared, likes and dislikes- compared, dressing and habits-compared. Compared and deteriorated to such an extent that I would wonder why the hell haven’t they compared our eye color or shoe sizes! But if not for the continuous support from my parents and siblings I would have give up on my life long back. Slowly time ticked off . I very much loved my eldest sibling and held her as my role model. But the world gave it an another name. They told me again and again how I tried being like my sister and failed so badly. As time elapsed I slowly started long hope and sometimes simply couldn’t make up mind as to what I was actually doing.
The past full of nasty remarks and comments haunted me and it affected my present. My results started falling. My parents got worried. My siblings tried their best to cheer me up. But it was a stage where I knew I was doomed, reason ? I did not know. I felt like life was such a waste .
It was during this time that I had board exams and I thank god that I passed my exams but by scoring passing marks. Everybody where shocked. I did not give a shit. I shut myself in my own sorry world. No matter how many of them tried to talk me out of it , I did not know what came over me. I felt nothing ! A distinction ranking student to score passing marks was a BIG crime.
And finally that life changing optimism moment of my life showed up and I became what nobody could’ve ever imagined me to be. The moment swept away my depression. I was crawled on my couch haphazardly when I noticed a small lizard crawling by the fridge door, all alone and then trying to grab something and my dad came over and sat by me and he said if there was one thing in the world he did not want to change ever was that him to have a child like me in every birth of his. Watching the lizard finally get over the fridge and my dad’s words had such an effect on me , I know it sounds so stupid but at that moment his words along with action taking place in front of me coupled up and my heart was filled with enthusiasm and I wanted to catch up with everything I had missed doing in the past few months !
So yes my moment of optimism was something weird and funny but worked wonders for me. What is your lookup story ?

PS( I scored 98% in my college then and topped at first place in the whole of my college , so much optimism !)